却带不走我们之间发生的一切...
I have tried my best to distract myself from thinking about you and the things that happened between the both of us. Everyday I still allowed you to slip into my mind. That night when you talked to me, the gentle tone that you had was something that I missed greatly. I want to convince myself that this is all that I would ever need from you.
there is more self-love than love. ~François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1665
自从我们决定不再相见，说话的那一刻，每一天你还是在我脑海里浮现。
我有那么喜欢你吗？也许是一个人正常的思念，对那段感情的遗憾吧。
也许曾经对你动了深感情，也有可能你会是最难忘的人。。。
然而，我们对未来从来没有共识，爱与不爱一瞬间，缘份也早已尽。
可能当时是我没法耐心等待。。。
无论如何，过去的让他过去，珍惜现在才是应当做的。
今天，我们真的不需要在碰面了，是我疗伤的开始
我希望在彼此自己的世界里，我们会得到追寻的幸福和快乐。。。
你是第一个让我想委屈求全的人，跟你的时候我认真的想要尝试。当你说不再喜欢我的时候，当下我不能分辨你心里到底在想什么，我只能说我要继续尝试。离开了你我想要认真面对我们的过去，成熟的对待你。。。
ready to meet you again?
All the anxiety everytime i see your shadows are definitely real.
Everyday somehow somewhat you creep into my mind...
a sense of crippling discomfort everytime i see you. :(
How did you make such a deep impact in my heart?
为甚麽当初一直要我放手的你不能体谅我的心情，不能接受我的决定？
是甚麽让你爱得那么自私又那么少？
现在的你又有甚麽资格气我？
我又再一次梦见你。
那冷淡的声音通过电话是如此的真实。似乎关心却又不愿意用太多心思的感觉又浮现在眼前。为了能打通电话与你连线忧郁与紧张的心情让我不能呼吸。结果跟以前一样，你没说几句就挂上电话了。要再打给你的时候却一直想不起你的最后四个号码。
醒来过后，才发现，我果然不记得你的号码了。
我扪心自问，我有对不起你吗？
当你一再说要分手的时候，我是多么不愿意。直到你苦苦相逼，表示对我没有感情的时候，我仍然抱着那一点点的希望，想挽回那段感情。可是之后的我们却有了更多的误会和磨擦，使我们之间的信任越来越薄。而你仍然坚持当初分手的决定，我们继续过着自己的生活。
那走不进又走不出你世界的日子有多痛苦你明白吗？当我终于鼓起勇气，做出我自己的选择，不再受你摆步，你却想再试一次。
但，你没有勇气表明态度。
我好几次差点想违背我当初的决定，想和你再试一次。一念之差，你的犹豫让我也没有信心，我决定狠心放手。
我尝试想缓和我们之间的分开，谁知道却跟你走的越近，结果对你照成了更大的伤害。这也是我仍然一直想起你的原因之一。。。
You have indeed said you dont like me a number of times and showered me with all the coldness i can ever experience from someone who was in my mind. You have told me to let go, to move on, to stop contacting countless times as well. So in spite of all these, how could you say I have led you on? How could you say you were acty waiting for a better opportunity? How could you mess me with head and heart again? Heartbreak upon heartbreak. Enough.
I feel like i have met someone who thinks like me, who loves me in the way i would feel loved. It's a feeling I never had. Is this someone who really cares or is he the right one for me? Still, I dont wanna give this feeling too much thought. Afterall i only know him for a while..
ready for another r.s. I'm very cautious about meeting zl again. I cant go back to the situation i have tried so hard to leave. I feel happy and blessed with wz, but at the back of mind, i'm worried. I am certainly not convinced that things will last the way it is. Esp we got into a relationship so fast. How informed is your decision? My inconfidence, i hope, will not affect the r.s. I keep thinking about all these issues and i really wish to let you know about how i feel and my state of mind. I like you, and i feel loved with you. But will things stay the same after some time?
The r.s before you, has caused me to lose a lot confidence, in myself and in r.s. Will i survive this r.s? I want to be myself, I dont want to feel pressured nor feel like i am always not good enough. I dont wish to put any expectations on you. I hope i can manage my expectations and accept disappointments. I want to have a r.s with you that is healthy, happy and most of all, still satisfied and loved.
Zhilei! Please dont trust him anymore, please dont go back to his whole game of love and not loving and coldness again. Please move on.
He has never really treasured you and never will.