I remember when we were still together, I always had dreams of you refusing to talk to me, ignoring me altogether and not letting me know why. I begged with you and cried but you continued to be so hard hearted. It was so real that I nearly cried when i woke up. These dreams repeated for as long as three years, as long as we were together. I could not grasp the reasons behind. Such recurring dreams reinforced themselves and made it really hard for me to differentiate reality and the imagined world sometimes. It instills in me a subconscious state of mind that makes me really fear that something like that would happen. This dream in a way manifested itself when you refused me as I laid down my pride six weeks after we broke up.
I really dont wish to paint such painful images for myself again. I know that subconsciously my mind likes to play tricks on me, linking various thoughts and images together in a weird way. As much as they reflect to a certain extend some of my feelings, it just makes the scenario feel worse than it should be. Recently, I had some dreams about Mr ZL as well. However, they were two different dreams on two different occasions. One was about meeting his previous girlfriend, the other was him making a choice of another girl over me. I must have been seeing too many pretty images of his previous girlfriend that's why! In the second dream, I remember I called him after ceasing contact for two days and he decided that to call off the whole thing because I was just not what he was looking for and she had everything he wanted. I went telling people I could not believe that he was doing that to me, to revenge on him by letting people know of his fickle mindedness. I kept reminding myself it was just a dream when I woke up.
I know, perhaps a lot of issues are self-imagined, but what can I do to stop all these imagination?
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